In the book SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS by Lemony Snicket's, the youngest Boudelaire child is blessed with the ability to 'bite things.' Perhaps Porter was born into the wrong family. Perhaps his mother should feed him more starch.
Perhaps he just wanted his own post on 'Lunch with Lincoln' because he was feeling overlooked. Perhaps he knew that if he started eating something strange, such as a kitchen table, he would be able to achieve that dream.
Or ... maybe he just likes to 'bite things.'
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